End Of Ze World
by TaintedPerspective
Summary: Anyway, so one day we decide those Chinese sonsofabitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China. Based on internet video. Epic Crack!fic


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers. The following fanfiction is done purely for entertainment purposes. I am in no way affiliated with Himaruya Hidekazu.

The nations of the world were having a regular meeting, not getting anything accomplished in the least and the usual fist fights break out early in the summit. Italy was whining about pasta, England was disagreeing with America, France was molesting China, and Japan was looking very uncomfortable while caught smack dab in the middle of Russia and India having a staring contest.

Germany, on the other hand, who was seated at the end of the long table, was having a dispute inside his own head. He was deeply torn between banging his own skull against the table until he passed out or slamming everyone _else's_. And his worsening splitting headache was not making the decision any easier.

"Doitsu! Doitsu! Could we please go get some pasta? It would be so much fun and we could go to this place where you can eat as much as you want and-"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP."

The shout echoed throughout the space, effectively quieting the rowdy bunch. The entire table turned to look, not at Germany, but at whoever had just walked through the door. A young man stood at the entrance of the large room, his hands holding a black laptop computer. Most of the nations seemed confused, but America looked happy.

"California! What are you doing here?"

The boy glanced over to America and grinned, "Pretty good. I thought I might help a bit with the conference." He set the computer down and immediately set up some kind of video document. A projector shot an image of the Earth onto a large white screen. The lights dimmed.

"Now, here we have a simulation of what could happen to destroy the world," California narrated, "please, stay calm. It is only a model of a futuristic possibility." A few nations began murmuring to each other, confused or skeptical looks showing on their faces.

He gently pressed a key on his laptop to start the picture of the world and its moon out in space.

"Okay, so," California continued, "here's the Earth. It's chilling. 'Damn, that is a sweet Earth,' you might say. WRONG!" The peaceful earth icon was scratched out and replaced with images of very real catastrophic events taking place. Most nations did a double take and turned their full attention towards the screen.

"Alright, ruling out the ice caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the ozone layer leaving, and the sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up."

The video panned out to view the Earth from a distance once more while several countries were specifically highlighted. "Okay, so basically, we've got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the UK, and us. With nukes. We've got about 2600 more than anybody else -" At this point several countries sent glares at America as California took a breath - "Whatever.

"Anyway, one day, we decide that those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down."

China narrowed his eyes and growled at America. The latter raised his hands up in surrender and opened his mouth to speak, but California cut him off. The video changed to reveal a red dotted path - the missile's course traveling across a virtual pacific ocean.

"So we launch a nuke at China. While it's on its way, China's like, 'Shit! Shit! Who the fuck is shooting us?'"

Just then China stood up in his seat, a crazed look in his eye, and shouted, "Oh well! FIRE MISSILES!"

From across the room France's voice was heard as he stood up and directed at Seychelles, "Shit guys, the missiles! They are coming! Fire our shit!"

The tropical nation looked back up at France confusedly. "But I am lè tired."

"Well, have a nap. THEN FIRE THE MISSILES!"

At this point, much of the world (plus California) were watching the two distraught nations warily, dreading what might come next. A movement came from the back of the room where Australia had just walked in the meeting room. He smiled tentatively and muttered, "What the fuck, mates?"

India, Israel and Pakistan had followed China and France's lead by standing and shouting about their own missiles, so now the meeting had escalated into something no one could have imagined. There were nations flying everywhere, passing each other.

Russia had gotten too excited and leaped onto the table to shout, "AH! MOTHERLAND!"

England, not to be outdone by France, commented. "'Bout that time, eh chaps?"

An excited Sealand answered, "Right-o."

California and America were both thinking, _Fuck we're dumbasses._

Canada, who had ducked beneath the table at the first sign of missiles, peaked up to ask, "What's going on, eh?"

He was answered by Australia still saying, "What the fuck?"

Germany, who had a passed out Italy over his knee, knew he was ready for a mental institution when a picture of a laughing Mars and a meteor changing course right before coming in contact with Earth appeared behind his eyes, which were closed in intense irritation.

California stood up tall and yelled out loudly to try to quiet the nations. "Yes, well, I'm glad you've all gotten interested with this exercise!" He pressed a few keys on his computer, and another image of the Earth popped up, however this time it was covered in ice and snow. "Going along with this nuke idea…. So, now we've got nuclear winter. Everyone's dead except Australia."

Once more, the island nation questioned to no one in particular, "What the fuck?"

The state standing at the end of the table darkened abruptly, and muttered quietly, "But they'll be dead soon… fucking kangaroos…."

He immediately brightened and continued announcing. "But, assuming we don't blow ourselves up," the screen behind him showed an illustration of his state severing itself from his country, "Us Californians just need to work on California breaking off of the United States."

Suddenly there was a little girl in a grass skirt beside California.

"…To go hang with Hawaii."

A small boy seemed to appear out of nowhere on the opposite side the larger state, with features looking suspiciously close to Russia.

"Alaska can come too."

THE END

**A/N: Oh my Lord. Was I drunk when I wrote this? BTW, France talks to Seychelles because she has some French influence in her culture. Anyways, this will only make sense in you've seen the original flash. If you haven't seen it, you should. Hella funny. Just Youtube search "End of Ze World" and a video will pop up by the same name.  
****Review please. ^_^**


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